is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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