): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
