Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Found the puke drawer
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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