Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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