I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
