I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
