i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
