I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize