like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
