bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
