her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
There r osticjed everywhere
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
