I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
