It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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