btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
People in love make me want to vomit
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
