i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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