A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Randomize
