Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
