Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
