he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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