bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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