apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
of course. lets lasso hookers.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize