i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
