Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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