Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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