She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
