Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
