apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
