I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
