I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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