i would punch a child for taco bell
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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