how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Someone came in the potted fern
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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