oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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