I murdered the dance floor call the cops
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
