mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
