So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
