good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
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