You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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