all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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