My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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