I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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