As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize