....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
