Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
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Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
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I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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