Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
