do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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