i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We just shotgunned beers for America
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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