you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
