Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
