so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i think my mom watched the whole time
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
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I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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