We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
