I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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