Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
In America we eat man semen.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
should my penis look like a turkey
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
