No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just invented taco cereal.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
