Rock
Scissors
Fuck
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
