i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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