I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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