so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
