I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
50% drunk capacity currently
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
