I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
