Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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