I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
