Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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